How To Handle Misunderstandings
Colossians 3:13-14 (ESV)
13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
When you are in any kind of relationship you are going to have some kind of conflict that will arise. I use to be the kind of person in the past that would walk away. So just a general scenario, a friend and I would get into a disagreement. I would explain how I got offended. I would get scared that they would get upset with what I said because normally I would not express how I felt. I would automatically think that the person didn't want to be my friend anymore so I would just disappear from their life and count it as a loss. I would be forever searching for another person to be my friend. (The dramatic side of me lol!)
I would like to say that I am a better communicator but in all actuality, I'm still learning with the rest of the world. I have come to learn to speak up for myself but because I'm still learning how to communicate, I have come to learn that my words hurt. I have been told that; "It's not what you say, but how you say it." I'm glad that I have friends and family that show me so much grace in this area. Because my friends and family are so awesome in showing me grace I have to in return show the same grace to them. Lord knows I need his grace everyday!!! So here are somethings that I have learned so far:
One thing that I am getting better at now but was not in the past is I process what is the offense that I am feeling. Could this be because someone is going through something at the moment and I am just being in the line of fire? Or is this truly something that I have done that the person is trying to tell me I did and it just doesn't feel very good hearing it at the moment?
Another is I am very quick to apologize when I find out that I offended someone. Almost as quick as I heard that I offended the individual. I try my best to live in peace with everyone as much as possible.
This should be number 1 y'all, but I pray. I pray that I forgive as quickly as I got offended with the person. I pray for them and I pray for myself. I am glad that I do not stay offended for very long. I literally counted how long I stayed upset at a person and it was for 30 minutes.(hahahaha!!!)
Be willing to live in the state of learning. I am never to the point that I have arrived and there is all that there is to learn. I can be 100 years old and I can still learn from someone at that age. Be willing to learn what caused the misunderstanding/conflict and learn from it.
What I have learned is when you get past the misunderstanding/conflict is your bond with that person becomes stronger. If you can get through that emotional roller coaster ride your bond with that person is sealed tighter.
You aren't going to get through life not getting into a misunderstanding. It's how you handle it that changes the course of your relationship/friendship. I hope what I have learned so far has helped you in some way :)
Do you have any tips that have helped and want to share? Leave a comment below!
until next time,
Evie
