Dear Younger Me

The Chastening

I soon found out that the life of Drugs and Alcohol, Sex and older men left me so empty. One night stands left me used up to the point that this very day I don't know half the names of the men that I slept with. Did I pass any STI's? The guilt of it all was so overwhelming for me. Even the most Tragic of accidents that could have ended my life wouldn't stop me from seeking love and the life that I thought I deserved. It was the call of God that was on my life. In the book of Hebrews 12:6-7 NKJV "For whom the Lord loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.”7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?" I would have people that would come up to me and tell me how much God loved me and he saw what I was going through. Would try to quote the Bible to me. I was not having that, I refused and even told God that I was not ready. God even used a little boy to get my attention, HA! He knew that I would not act out in front of the child. I was still wanting to do my own thing.

It took right after my 21st birthday. I was in my apartment and was contemplating what I wanted to do. Move to another state to start a new life? Or stay where I was and deal with the mundane routine of working and going home...

To Be Continued...

Until Next Time,

Evie